What does it really mean to be authentic—and who gets to decide? In this episode of The Space in Between, host Leigh Morgan talks with author, political strategist, and podcast host Maya Rupert about how race, gender, identity, and power influence who is perceived as “real,” trustworthy, and qualified.
Drawing from her book, The Real Ones: How to Disrupt the Hidden Ways Racism Makes Us Less Authentic, Maya challenges the idea that authenticity is simply a matter of “being yourself.” She and Leigh explore how code-switching and adapting to different environments can reflect awareness and agency regardless of the circumstances we find ourselves in. In today’s divided and distrustful climate, understanding these dynamics can help us recognize the conditions shaping our choices while still acting from a place of clarity, dignity, and power. We also share practices to turn the tide on conscious and unconscious bias and systemic norms that influence who is – and is not – perceived as authentic.
In This Conversation
Leigh and Maya explore:
- Why authenticity is not experienced equally. Social identities and cultural expectations influence whose behavior is perceived as genuine, polished, angry, presidential, or out of place.
- The dynamics behind code-switching. For many people, the question “Who am I?” has always existed alongside “Who do I need to be in this environment?” Recognizing that reality can reduce shame and create more intentional choices.
- How bias shapes our judgments of leaders. Maya examines why some public figures are granted the freedom to be unscripted or inconsistent, while women and people of color are often held to narrower standards.
- How grace, humility, and accountability can strengthen public life. Authenticity does not eliminate the need for effort, reflection, repair, or change. Maya argues that meaningful justice must make room for accountability, forgiveness, and the possibility of doing better.
Key Takeaways
- Authenticity is not a fixed identity waiting to be uncovered. It develops through experience, reflection, relationships, and changing circumstances.
- Code-switching can be a strategic response to real social conditions. The important question is whether we are making conscious choices or losing contact with ourselves.
- Feeling misunderstood does not necessarily mean we have failed to be authentic. Sometimes the discomfort or incongruence exists in the observer’s expectations and biases.
- Authenticity can require effort. Working to live according to our values does not make those values less genuine.
- Agency includes knowing when to engage, when to step away, and when to ask an ally to enter a conversation that we do not have the safety or capacity to hold.
Why This Matters
In polarized times, people are hungry for leaders who seem “real.” But when authenticity is poorly defined, bias can quietly determine who receives trust, forgiveness, and the benefit of the doubt. By asking better questions—What do we mean by authentic? What assumptions are influencing our judgment? What conditions shape how someone shows up?—we can become more discerning citizens, more humane leaders, and more powerful agents in our own lives.
Practices to Try
Interrogate your first assumptions.
What you believed or wanted earlier in life is not automatically your most authentic truth. Give yourself permission to learn, reconsider, and grow.
Ask the second question.
When someone seems inauthentic, pause and ask what is creating that reaction. Is the person being dishonest—or are they behaving differently from what you expected?
Lead with grace and humility.
Remember that you rarely know another person’s full internal journey. Extend grace where human dignity and safety are present, while maintaining clear boundaries where they are not.
About Maya Rupert
Maya Rupert is an author, political strategist, and former presidential campaign leader whose work explores race, gender, power, and democracy. She is the author of The Real Ones: How to Disrupt the Hidden Ways Racism Makes Us Less Authentic and the host of the NAACP Image Award–nominated podcast When We Win, a limited series featuring women of color who successfully challenged political conventions and transformed the way campaigns are run.
